While this makes us laugh because most, if not all, of us have had this conversation with our significant other. It’s funny when we aren’t the ones exchanging these texts or conversations but when we are it’s infuriating. It’s frustrating for the partner that is upset and feels like a nag. It makes them feel unheard and uncared for. It may sound like an extreme reaction to an action that is ‘not a big deal’ but it is a big deal. When we cannot help our partners with small things they have asked of us, what we are actually saying to them with our lack of action is, what you want help with doesn’t matter to me and I am not taking your feelings, needs and wants into consideration. If that happens too many times it builds up feelings of resentment and strife between and for each partner in the couple. That trickles into the bedroom and typically causes sexual issues. That can perpetrate a cycle that can be extremely hard to get out and may need the help of a sexologist or counselor to break free from.
Next time your partner asks you do something or you know certain things or ways are important to them (putting dishes in sink/dishwasher), try to do them for your partner. If you don’t want to or won’t, ask yourselves why don’t you have the time or desire to make their needs a priority.
No one wants to be nagged and no one wants to feel they are being unheard or that they are parenting their partner. None of these feelings or actions are sexy.