When you are widowed being ready or open for love is very different than looking for love. There is no magic time on when or if someone who has lost a spouse will be ready for new love. Many widows, especially younger aged ones, do get to a point where they feel open to new love. This can be a very scary guilt ridden feeling for some. Some widows feel:
- they are cheating on their spouse
- they don’t know how to navigate the dating scene anymore
- they can be nervous to bring their grief into a potential new relationship
- they can be nervous about what a new romantic interest means for their children if they have some
- increased anxiety they may lose a partner again
A widow faces the challenge of being in a new and meaningful relationship without letting the former relationship be forgotten or denied.
Furthermore being open to love and actively looking for it are two very different concepts for anymore not just widowers. We can feel our heart has some space for someone new but not ready to start initiating or participating in ways of meeting new people.
If you have lost a partner to death or even just lost a partner, and are grieving but also open for love again just keep in mind that every love is different. Try to avoid having the expectation or desire to find the same kind of love that you lost with your partner. No two people are exactly the same so any future romantic relationship will not start, be or end the exact same as your other one did……..and this is actually a wonderful thing for you.
Romantic love forms an essential aspect of peoples lives. It is an important expression of a good, meaningful, and flourishing life. Without love and desire, many people feel that a large part of them is missing. Feeling like you need, want or desire a romantic partner, after you have lost your previous partner, is not a negative or selfish thing. It’s a sign you are healing and coping in ways that will honour your life.